This New York Times article is very old but the fact remains that right now, somewhere in the world, thousands of intelligent, educated and spiritually connected women are praying for you. Indeed they have devoted their whole lives to the union of souls. I'm not particularly Catholic, but I get peace from the idea. May we all be open to receive the abundant spiritual grace intended for us.
Ambitious Capricorn knows that you don’t get anywhere in life by being unaware of what other people are doing. But being too aware comes with its own set of problems, especially if you’re taking other people’s business personally, and in fact doing a line-by-line, them-to-you comparison on matters. Regardless, I think there’s an opportunity here for you here.
I used to regard jealousy as “the green-eyed monster” that is its common description, but I’ve come to develop a different relationship with this powerful emotion – one that allows for acceptance and even the welcoming of jealous feelings that get integrated into my self-awareness. Jealousy is no longer a monster to be blamed, rather jealousy is a friendly radiologist.
Jealousy is a well-trained professional who surveys the landscape, records its features and zooms in on the points of interest. Jealousy is the expert who can point right to the spot and say, “here’s your problem” or “here’s what’s amazing, right here.”
To blame the radiologist for the issues going on in the body would be absurd, though messengers get blamed all the time and jealousy lives with that unfair rap too, all because people don’t know what to do with this very specific information that jealousy is just passing on. They don’t understand how to use the valuable gift that jealousy brings to make themselves healthier and happier. Truly, what’s inside jealousy’s message can be turned into a blueprint for a more fulfilling life. We must, however, learn the language of jealousy, as it speaks in its own tongue.
Usually jealousy starts with an attraction. In passing, we get a glimpse of something that catches our eye like a shiny object, or rattles us with an attention-getting resonance. We tune in. The more we pay attention, the stronger it hooks us. The thoughts that run through our heads next are our interpretations of this attraction. We may think, “No fair!” “Why her?” “How did they dare?” or something like this. That’s not what jealousy told us, it’s just how we’re translating it.
What jealousy really told us is, “Look here. Does this remind you of something? This is in you or you wouldn’t have noticed it to begin with. This is possible. There’s something here for you. There’s something you can do that you didn’t know you could.” Try to think of jealousy’s message as more of an invitation to an appetite than a condemnation of what’s being observed.
If you are experiencing jealousy, congratulations. It means you're alive, you want, you hunger, and there is life out there for you to bite into and figure out.
To get the most out of the emotion, you'll probably have to turn the heat down on it. Get distance from the thing making you jealous. Step back, calm down, detach. Stop judging yourself for being jealous. All it means is that you're alive and so is your appetite for life. From a gentle state of mind, ask yourself questions along the lines of, "What appetite is this feeling pointing to? What need do I have that's not being met in my current life? What skill might I be able to pick up if I worked at it? What state of being am I craving that is so well represented in this situation?"
Journaling on these questions or working them out in conversation with a trusted person will begin to open the way for jealousy's findings to guide you toward making a remarkable difference in your life and well-being.
If this is a hot topic for you, please comment or reach out to me on Instagram or via email? I will write more indepth on it in the future, as I have plenty of experience with jealous LOL!
Love and Stars!
Holiday
PS. I'm also touching on jealousy and more states of heart in the LOVE ZINE I'm writing now. Stay tuned!
It’s an age old tradition. As long as writing has been around, so have love letters. If there is a more touching gift than the articulation of one’s amorous feelings in a form that can be held and kept as proof, it would be hard to find. And it would cost a lot of money. So save yourself a few bucks and write a love letter. It could very well be an item your beloved will cherish for years to come.
Here’s how in twelve easy steps:
Step One:
It starts as all things should start – with the “why” of it. State the purpose of the letter so you can set up an accurate expectation of what is to come.
Example: Dear Jean,
I’m writing you this letter because I’ve gotten to a place where I can’t imagine my life without you in it.
Example: Dear Avery,
This letter is to tell you my feelings have changed. I can’t be just friends with you.
Example: Dear Taylor,
The reason I’m writing is because you’ve made me so happy in these last few weeks and I thought maybe you’d like to know that.
Step Two:
Set the scene. Be specific.
Example: I was eating sour dough toast for breakfast yesterday and I realized that the thing I was most looking forward to was seeing you later in the day.
Example: I drove by your freeway exit and it almost made me cry.
Example: You left your sweater at my house and I was happy because I knew you’d be back for it.
Step Three:
This is the “what I notice about you” part. Easing into it here…
Example: I notice you have three kinds of laughs – one for when I’m really funny, one for when you’re really funny, one for when you’re just being nice. All glorious.
Example: You look better in blue than anyone I’ve ever seen in blue.
Example: I like how you avoid all the bad topics because you’re such a positive person.
Step Four:
History. Give a little back story, or tell the story of the relationship thus far.
Example: I’ve really not been the same since we met in math class. I now know about variables, coefficients and the really terrible distraction of how shiny your hair is when you sit next to the window.
Example: I never expected that I’d meet anyone special on a city bus.
Example: When Janet set us up, I was really skeptical, so it was pretty cool to learn that she has excellent taste in people.
Step Five:
The change. What happened to make it go deeper?
Example: I figured when my cat jumped on your head and you didn’t even get mad that you were like a Zen master or something.
Example: It was that boring day at work. Something about your smile made me want to linger at a soul-crushing job. How do you do that?
Example: Honestly, yesterday’s traffic was the breaking point. I’m sick of commuting to your house. We should live closer/together.
Step Six:
The list of compliments. All the things you see. All the things you like. All the things.
Example: You smell like sandlewood and soap. Dogs love you. You’re hilariously bad at chess. You spend more money than you have just to take me out. You can dead lift a refrigerator. You’re the top score on dragon ball, no one can beat you. You have the cutest feet. You’re ambitious. You’re weird, in a good way. You drive too fast. You’re cuddly. You love the number eleven just like me.
Get it all down, even the cringe-worthy, ridiculous things. You’ll edit later.
Step Seven:
What’s in it for you? What are your feelings? What do you want?
Example: I’ve been a mess thinking that you might move to Rhode Island. I want you to stay in Oregon. If you stayed I would make it so worth your while. I’d tell you every day how beautiful you are.
Example: The thought of you is so electric, I feel like my brain’s going to blow a fuse.
Example: I want to hold your hand through the scary parts of the movie. I want to hold your hand through the scary parts of life.
Step Eight:
Wrap it up.
Example: What I’m trying to say is… if you move to Rhode Island, I’m going to have to move with you.
Example: I know now that we can’t be friends, unless we’re the kind of friends who are married.
Example: I just want you to know my feelings. Also, we should date.
Step Nine:
The sign off. Not to be taken lightly.
Example: Your fan,
Frank
Example: As ever,
Emma
Example: Always and forever,
John
Although, is there something more creative you can think of? This part’s significance far outweighs its word count.
Step Ten:
The P.S.
The post script is an opportunity -- often it’s the very best part of the whole letter. Unless there’s a P.P.S. Those are usually a zinger.
P.S. No pressure.
Example: P.S. Or not.
P.P.S. JK! ;)
Example: Fluffy the cat wants to know when you’re coming back with more of that sweet cat nip stuffed mouse action.
Example: Rhode Island. Really?
Step Eleven:
Edit. Yes, the essence of good writing is re-writing. If you have the time, you might want to wait a day or two before you do your edits because you’ll see it differently after 24 hours.
Step Twelve:
The presentation.
Handwritten is the best. Something printed is the next best. Cool paper is a plus. Do yourself a favor – don’t put your heart into something and then send it digitally. Love letters aren’t for emails. They aren’t for texting. Love letters are a gift from the heart, worthy of a physical embodiment. Give ‘em something to hold and keep. And blackmail you with later.
